Idk. I'm probably just bitter and jealous.
This guy, let's call him Tom, is in love with this girl, let's call her Jane.
Tom and I had a friends with benefits arrangement going on. No actual sex though.
Jane broke up with her boyfriend a year ago. She cheated on him. I don't know why she did that but I'm assuming she did it so she'd have an excuse to break up with the guy instead of telling him how she really felt. Apparently Jane spoke to Tom and said it felt right.
Now, Tom admitted to me that he liked Jane and I told him not to go there b/c even though I had no real proof of anything I just had this gut feeling right away that it would benefit him in no way to like her or to let her know he likes her. It was only after talking to him more that I realized that he's in love with her.
So.
No one listens to me. No one takes my advice. I'm not saying I'm always right, but when I CAN give advice on something, I'm usually pretty accurate in what I say. But no one listens to me so they just end up getting fucked in the ass.
Tom went ahead and told Jane he likes her. Jane said nothing about how she felt about him, only that her intuition told her and that she'd be okay with them getting physically involved. Tom told me this himself and he said it's fine with him. He lies to himself a lot.
Now over the last few months Tom had said that he wants to get closer to me as friends b/c even though we've only REALLY known each other for a short time, I'd gotten to mean a lot to him.
I got upset one day though, b/c Tom said he doesn't love Jane any more than he loves me. That... Makes absolutely no sense to me. Tom shows clear preference to Jane over me all the time but it apparently doesn't register to him that he does that. "/ He's not IN love with me but he is IN love with her so how can there be no difference? I asked him that and he said the relationships are different and that he has a deep admiration for her but with me he feels mushy and cutesy. Seriously? -_-
I swear I could have stabbed him that day. (I have anger issues that I'm working on.)
My problem isn't really his preference but that he's lied to himself so much that he seems to believe his lies now. And as a result he's feeding me bullshit.
I don't think Jane knows that he's in love with her but still... I really doubt that she feels any sort of romantic love toward him and so she's basically leading him on and getting his hopes up. And he keeps making excuses for her too. I really don't like when he mentions her anymore.
It makes me super annoyed.
At this point I should make it known that I don't dislike Jane. She's my friend. My good friend too. I just wish she would think a bit more sometimes. Idk I guess I'm jealous of her. She IS best friends with the love of my life. No, not Tom. I could never actively date Tom. I don't feel that way about him at all. He's way too much of a girl and a child and it gets on my nerves.
So let's call this other guy, David.
David and I had been exclusively dating for months then we became official couple. I won't say why it ended. But I will say that he turned out to be an asshole and so he's the one who ended it. You can probably tell I'm still broken about this. It really did a number on me b/c I have never clicked like that with anyone before. But meh.
So David and Jane have been best friends for like a decade or so. I have never and would never try to come b/w them even though I'm not enthusiastic about them being so close. Jane's a bit of a bombshell, you see. She's one of those girls that makes every other girl self conscious. I hang around guys a lot and I've heard them so I figure this is how she must make other girls as insecure as me feel lol.
But yeah we broke up and David seemed to pour all his energy into being her friend. Truth be told I've never seen the same level of affection reciprocated on her part. But I'd never say it. So now he's all Jane this and Jane that. And it really gets to me, you know. I was talking to him and he was making something for her and he started to go on about how special she is to him and all that crap and I started to cry.
Ugh. I really hate my life.
His bbm status says 'Make her proud' and he said he's referring to her and I got annoyed right away.
It's like he does everything with her in mind. Jeez.
I just wish he'd stop depending on her when she doesn't even know how to hold herself up.
I have thought, 'both these guys are so hooked on her but what's so great about her?' I mean she's really nice and all but what is it that makes her so addictive to them? I suppose I haven't had enough conversations with her that let me into her mind or something. Because I don't feel like I know her.
Blah.
I guess that's it for now.
